Five Reasons Why I Love Rukia Kuchiki
by Meulin's Disciple
Summary: Ichigo has to write an essay for Ochi-sensei on the topic of contradictions. Who does he use as his muse? Rukia, of course! IchiRuki, oneshot. Rated M for a bit of lemon. Please read and review.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N:**__ Gasp! Can it be? An IchiRuki story coming from Comatose Midnight? AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!_

_=P_

_Well, since one of my favorite Bleach pairings (aside from Ulquihime... heh heh... 8D) is, in fact, IchiRuki, I decided that I should finally write something with them as the main couple. Random oneshot I had the idea for and it sounded like a good idea to me, so I went for it. This was originally going to be called "Ten Reasons Why I Love Rukia Kuchiki", but I could only think of five! =\_

_It's got a bit of lemon in it, just a second warning. XP_

_I tried making it romantic and funny. I think that worked out okay, but you, my readers, are the ULTIMATE JUDGES! xO_

_Reviews feed my soul and keep me happy! 8D_

_Don't make me start demanding sacrifices in the form of Ulquiorra and/or Grimmjow plushies! D=_

_Heh heh..._

_I'm done now. =P_

* * *

Five Reasons Why I Love Rukia Kuchiki

By: Ichigo Kurosaki

Reason #1: She's subtle, yet honest.

"_Idiot! What the _hell_ did you think you were doing? If you were killed, what do you think I would've _done_?" Rukia shouted. Ichigo scratched the back of his nervously; for once, he had nothing to say to the midget shinigami reprimanding him so harshly. He, admittedly, was toying with the seemingly weak hollow rather than finishing the job swiftly; he deserved every one of Rukia's scathing words. After all, he didn't know what _he_ would've done if he had lost Rukia, how he would've gone on with his life without her; he really didn't._

Reason #2: She's a wonderful artist.

_Ichigo glared and scowled at the drawing of him Rukia had done. He told her he hated it, but the truth was, that beneath the clear lack of skill within the piece was a beautiful work of art; he absolutely loved it. Obviously not for the childish quality, but for the emotion and thought Rukia put into it. The only reason he told her he hated it was because he was so used to doing so. Ichigo sighed. "I'll apologize to her later."_

Reason #3: She makes me smile.

"_Ichigo, what is this strange device? I've never seen anything like it!" Rukia implored, poking and prodding some gadget in the kitchen._

"_It's a toaster, Rukia." Ichigo said, a bit annoyed. After all, Rukia had been in the world of the living long enough. Of all things, shouldn't she know what a _toaster_ is?_

"_What does it do?" she asked innocently. Ichigo sighed dramatically. He walked to the cupboard, opened it, and snatched a slice of bread, popping it into the toaster and pushing down the handle._

"_It… makes bread disappear? What a useless contraption…" Rukia muttered._

_Ichigo folded his arms and rolled his eyes, "Give it a minute." Surely enough, about a minute later, the bread popped up from the confines of the toaster, browned and brittle rather than white and soft and airy._

"_What kind of kido does this thing contain? There's no other explanation as to how the bread was transformed." Rukia reasoned._

"_It just _cooked_ the damn bread! It's _not_ kido!" Ichigo was beginning to lose his patience. Well, truth be told, he was faking it. In actuality, Rukia's ignorance towards some of Earth's devices and gadgets and gizmos was endearing._

_It made him smile._

Reason #4: She's just so innocent.

_A desperate moan escaped Rukia's lips. Ichigo captured those lips with his own in a soft kiss. Their mouths moved against each other like a breeze against the soft petals of a newly blossomed flower. He had finally made Rukia his. Her body, mind, emotions, spirit; they all belonged to him. And all of Ichigo was given to Rukia in return. "Ichigo," Rukia whispered lustfully, "… move…" He did so, caressing and filling the inner void of her core with his member. They completed each other. Rukia coiled her long, slender legs around Ichigo's waist as he thrust in and out of her, the pleasure building, accumulating within them both. Rukia let out something between a whimper and a cry upon feeling her most sensitive region being stroked in the most intimate of ways. _Fuck…_ Ichigo cursed inwardly, _She really doesn't know what she's doing to me…

Reason #5: She loves me back.

"_I hate you!" she cried, pounding her small fists against Ichigo's chest._

"_Shh…" he soothed, "I'm okay, Rukia… It's okay…" He held her tightly, protectively to his body._

"_How can you say that, you idiot? You almost _died_!" Rukia screamed. Ichigo remained silent for a moment before replying, "I know… I'm so sorry, Rukia…"_

"_I hate you so much…!" she sobbed quietly against his chest._

"… _I know." Ichigo whispered into Rukia's hair._

"_I hate you… I _hate_ you…!" she emphasized each set of those three words with a single halfhearted hit of her fists against the substitute shinigami's chest, "… I… I don't hate you… I love you so much, Ichigo… so much that it _hurts_ sometimes…!"_

"_I'm so sorry…" Ichigo repeated. He didn't know what else to say._

"_It hurts…" Rukia continued, "but it's worth it. It's _worth_ loving you, Ichigo..." She had stopped hitting Ichigo, but her tears hadn't yet ceased to run. She just let Ichigo hold her and she tightly clutched his hakama, as though afraid he was going to run away and leave her behind._

xXx

Ochi-sensei lowered her glasses down her nose, to give Ichigo a scrutinizing stare. Ichigo had recently told his teacher everything; what he was, why he and his friends were constantly going to the bathroom or the nurse, why they sometimes came to class with spontaneous injuries, etc. His teacher took everything rather well, and accepted his and the others' excuses to skip class without a problem (although she faked being suspicious just to make sure the other student's didn't think Ichigo and crew were getting special treatment). She grabbed a piece of chalk from a drawer in her desk and flung it at Ichigo's forehead. "'F', Kurosaki! You _utterly_ failed the assignment!"

"What?" Ichigo couldn't help but blurt out; he had, after all, worked on that paper for _hours_.

"Well, for one thing," Ochi-sensei began after regaining her composure, "Part of this essay looks more like a manuscript for a porno story than a report."

Ichigo growled inwardly at the comment, but made no outward indication of his figurative emasculation.

"But more importantly, the essay is _completely_ off-topic!" Ochi-sensei sighed, "How could you write about the wrong thing, Ichigo? I clearly specified the topic at _least_ twice!"

Ichigo scratched his head nervously, "But Ochi-sensei, wasn't the assignment an essay on contradictions?"

Ochi-sensei looked at Ichigo stupidly for a moment before bursting into laughter. "Ichigo!" she guffawed, "We were in the middle of a _health class!_"

Ichigo raised an eyebrow.

"You weren't supposed to write an essay on contradictions! You were supposed to write a research paper about _contraception_!" She exploded into full-blown laughter once again, finally understanding Ichigo's _mis_understanding.

Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. "You're… joking, right…?"


	2. PETITION: Message to Site Staff

Hello everybody. My name is Melanie (and some of you know me as such) but most of you (now) know me by my pen name, Chasing Noerah, formerly known as Chasing Yuffentine and—in the past—by a few other pen names. Yes, that previous sentence was indeed a blatant and ill-disguised allusion to Aaron Hanson's (egoraptor on Youtube—I hope I spelled his real name right) video "Egorapture".

But that's not important.

What _is_ important is that the moderators of this site have apparently decided that M-rated fics that contain explicit sexual content and/or violence is a threat of some sort and are banding together in an effort to delete the hard work of everybody on this site who has taken the time—often hours at a time—and the effort—a lot of it—to write some of the best erotica I have ever read (because lets face it: most people don't use the site's M-filter for the _violent_ stuff).

No, I am not ignorant of this site's no-MA-fic policy. I have been aware of it for a number of years. However, seeing that numerous (many) others have posted their own erotic fanfiction, I thought it well and good for myself to do the same. And—now speaking to whatever staff of the site who may be reading this, my unique version of the very petition that's been going around the site—do you want to know something? You may say to post on other sites like Adult Fanfiction, but lets be realistic: Fanfiction dot net is possibly THE most popular fanfiction site in America (I cannot even begin to hope to vouch for the rest of the world; different countries likely have their own fanfiction sites that have the same level of popularity as this one), and as such, it has the most fanfiction posted on it and has the highest quanity of high-quality of fanfiction that I have seen. I have seen other sites—Archive of Our Own, Lunaescence, Adult Fanfiction—and they do not even begin to compare to the vastness that is this site. Archive of Our Own, while a quality site, has very little variety of fanfiction within its categories compared to ; Lunaescence is even _smaller_ from what I could gauge, and it's not a very desirable site to be a member of in my opinion, as one's membership is revoked if their account goes inactive for too long. Adult Fanfiction does has a wide variety of MA-rated fanfiction (though it _is_ lacking considerably in some categories and pairings that I very much enjoy reading about), but quite honestly, I _fear_ to read most of the stories on the site; unless it's a story by an author from this site whose erotic fanfiction I enjoy, the stories on Adult Fanfiction just... give me that feeling that I'm going to be reading a bad porno as opposed to a story where I'm going to feel like a voyeur intruding on a beautiful lovemaking session. Plus, considering this site's popularity and its wider variety of ratings, I find that more—or at least higher-quality—is posted here as opposed to Adult Fanfiction. And because this site _is_ so varied in its ratings, I feel more comfortable traversing it.

Speaking of authors on this site, most of them who write and have written the M-rated fics that warrant an MA-rating (myself included; I'm not ashamed to admit it, nor am I scared to; I _do_ have back-ups of at _least_ my good erotica. And that prior statement was not meant as a threat; let me make this clear)—and this is the major point I want to make—use other sites, like the one you oh-so love to recommend (Adult Fanfiction) as a _afterthought_. That's right. These authors aren't _more_ active on Adult Fanfiction; they use it as a tool to assist against plagarism. I will admit that some authors will post less-explicit versions of their stories on this site and the uncut version on others, but many, many writers of erotic fanfiction (which will hereafter be referred to as "lemons") here post the uncut version on here, Fanfiction dot net, their main site.

Again I would like to mention the authors to you, the staff of this site who may be reading and (hopefully) considering my words. We—and I am only referencing us authors in specific who write erotic fanfiction—write lemons not _only_ because we want people to read them, but also because we enjoy doing so, and we enjoy doing so _very_ much. Regardless or whether or not we wish to make a career of it—or even if it _is_ a career for some—it is a passion for us _all_.

We have written and posted lemons here on this site, poured our hearts into their writing, our love for the fandoms of both the series and the pairing (or in some cases, threesome) for which the story was being written about being put into each and every word chosen (and I speak in general when I say these things).

We have chosen _this_ site for a reason, which I have said and will say again: it is a _very_ popular site for fanfiction.

And I would like to point out—perhaps most importantly of all—that if I'm not mistaken, your policy of no-MA-rated fanfiction violates the First Amendment, which promises Freedom Speech and Expression. Yes, it is a policy that is within your Terms and Conditions, but it is also one that not only violates an _Amendment to the American Consitution_, but also a _basic human right_—which is universal (even though not all countries honor all of its words. The United States—however—seems to)—the details of which can be in Article 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights:

"Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers."

Check for yourself if you are so inclined, but it _is_ indeed there.

And now I _implore_ you: please, just leave us _be_! Leave us to our craft! Again: we _enjoy_ writing these types of stories, and there are people who enjoy reading them as well. By not allowing the MA-rating on the site, you are stifling our creativity _and_ our rights. Also, when you delete the stories we worked so hard on, it's a _huge_ slap in the face, especially if any such story has a considerable amount of reviews or views or favorites or any combination of the aforementioned, and mostly so if the author has no back-ups. If you are concerned that those who do not desire to read lemons (or young children) will come across one of these stories, simply either require an account to view such stories, or agelock the "MA" rating; either/or would be just fine. Reinstating the "MA" rating would most certainly benefit you—it couldn't hurt; it would mean more visitors to the site, and one of the aforementioned security would simultaneously help prevent mishaps.

Finally, I would just like to close my message with these statements:

You respect the wishes of well-known professional authors and companies, so why can't you respect _our_ wishes as well? If someone decides now to complain about having sexually explicit fanfiction on this site, then they would have no reason to if the "MA" rating were reinstated. If they complained after that, then they could be labeled as an instigator, as most—if not all—of such fanfiction could be very easily avoided.

Thank you for your time,

~Chasing Noerah


End file.
